-Fuild Acrylics are produced with the same pigments at the same load as the Heavy Body paints, yielding similar tinting strength. However, many artists believe they are actually stronger than the Heavy Body colors due to their greater leveling. Formulating the Fluid Acrylics is a more difficult process, as there is a tendency for highly loaded paints at a low viscosity to thicken over time.
-Different colors can have different Gloss; one way to tackle this is to mix with appropriate Gel which would reduce the color load and other way is to apply varnish.
-Max Water to Paint ration is 1:1
-Brush strokes get evened out. Fluid colors fills the brush in an uniform way.
-Fluid colors are good for making Gel based Glaze mixtures because foaming can be avoided.
Fluid colors are strong so 2% may be enough for Glaze mixture.
Full article
http://www.goldenpaints.com/justpaint/jp4article3.php
Golden Fluid Acrylics
McCain's random antics
This is an interesting observation on random punchs thrown by John McCain
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2008/09/tactics-v-strat.html
...that the McCain campaign is obsessed with tactics -- not strategy. The campaign is focused on winning the news cycle -- not having a larger consistent message....
Drying of Acrylic paints
About drying of Acrylic Colors.
Types of Drying
1) Surface drying: This is the first stage of drying, where a skin gets formed over the surface because the moisture, stored in underlying layer, are no longer able to keep the film/surface wet. This is also called as "dry-to-touch". Thin layers attain this stage in seconds while think layers would have to wait little longer.
2) Internal drying: This is the time required for every layer to dry and is more important than Surface drying. Time for this varies and could take hours. I have observed that color mixed with Gels or Pastes takes lot longer to dry, and show different color when dry.
Temperature:-
-Does not dry well at temperatures below 48F
-While using Hair-dryer, keep the heat low.
Substrate and drying:-
Substrate is the painting surface and its nature affects the time taken by paint to dry. An unsealed the surface/substrate like paper or canvas could accelarate drying of Acrylic color. By sealing the substrate -with Golden Soft Gel etc...- one can reduce the drying time.
Full article:
http://www.goldenpaints.com/justpaint/jp3article1.php
Why Palins did this to herself?
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/26/us/politics/26watch.html?em
I saw Palin interview with Katie Koric, yes that Russian question?
Palin's asnwer was not polished; see I was not expecting a the truth but just a confident presentation. She stumbled, sorry I should not be that judgmental(being bad talker myself) , but a VP needs to be confident; does not matter whether the individual brain-dead(like Mr Bush :-)).
Sarah went speechless while describing how media made fun of her by saying 'Palin's foriegn policy experience comes from being next to Russia', and Palin could not get the word 'caricature' to describe the way media treated her, and then Katie helped her with word 'mock'. I do not understand why Palin is putting herself to this kind of humiliation, media is going to be beat it to death; and bloggers are slaughtering it already. Sorry Sarah even I mocked at you :-), try to listening to BBC World service, every day, for few years :-)
"Clear Tar Gel" by Golden
Golden has several kinds of Gels: Hard, Soft, Clear Tar. And out of all these Clear Tar Gel has unique characteristic of settling in a way so that the surface is flat. And in addition this Clear Tar Gel does not create could, instead it creates a transparent layer that looks like Glass.
Among all, Clear Tar Gel is my favorite and have used it create glassy layers. The method that used is to mix apply a layer a hard molding paste mixed with some color and then it is still somewhat wet, pour Clear Tar Gel.
'Rheology' is a new term that I recently came across, it is refers to ability of the viscous liquid to settledown in such a way that surface bceomes flat.
Here is link specifications http://www.goldenpaints.com/technicaldata/targel.php
And salient features are
0) When poured, drops along a line without breaking.
1) 100% acrylic polymer dispersion
2) Prestinely clear, not sign of fog.
3) Aware of bubbles.
Working with Clear Tar Gel http://www.goldenpaints.com/artist/cltargel.php
Country of 1/2 billion puppets
Some boy does not want to love Her because His mom & dad did not approve; and similarly Some girl did not want to love Him because Her mom & dad refused.
This is not at all news in the nation of India; assuming that 50% living there are parents, rest of the off springs are just puppets; my genuine sympathies to them. It is a society that does not encourage self-determination. It is place where we have to redefine the terms Adult.
Yes, Indira Gandhi, a lady, became prime minister in 60s, is that true example for womens' freedom?, no I do not think so. Being able to choose in personal life is more important than freedom to hold the hightest office of the land. It is a strange country/society, even a CEO, may need mom & dad consent whom to love.
I am writing this because few victims are my close friends, and I can't change status-quo because it is a systemic problem, and it is frustrating to me that I have my friends suffering there.
Cow-boy's economic solution
http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2008/09/20080924-10.html
'..is an extraordinary period for America's economy....'
This is how politicians scare their citizens with all superlatives and sometime it works; there are dumb people who believe that ...yes I should agree otherwise, sky is going fall on my family, land is going break... Mr. Bush used similar words to convince dumb Americans about Iraq war too.
'...And it will help send a signal to markets around the world that America's financial system is back on track...'
Observe the words 'system is back on track', Is fixing a systematic crisis as easy as throwing 700bn at thirsty wall-street? I do not think so, Wall-street has wasted lot more money than this, giving them money is like giving drugs to an addict; first we should cure system of its addiction. This statement goes well with Bush's simplistic/shallow view of the World; Guy is not fit for position.
'....And together, we will show the world once again...'
Again, Mr. Bush talks like a Cowboy riding to his glory; everything is a week-end adventure for him. He used similar machostic words when stepped in to Iraq war. This statement also smells like cheap patriotism perfume that every politicains loves.
I would have said that Mr. Bush should get a better speech writer, but it is too late :-)
'Country first' trash
I believe 'patriotism' is one of the misleading and misused emotion. Misuser's of 'patriotism' get addicted to it, and as the time goes by they spew more of it on others, just like an over-dosing addict.
John McCain, is also suffering from that so are many politicians, epitomizes many politicians. John has overused his POW credentials to shield himself from even constructive criticism, postponed meeting(RNC convention) just because there was hurricane 1000 miles away venue, now he wants to postpone seize his campaign for Presidency because the Wall-street is facing time of crisis.
Why can't he behave normally? Like me :-) , as a regular guy?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7634455.stm
our emotional boundaries
Like us, Nature has not made any progress (in human terms), it has as not had any cosmetic surgery; and rock, mud and tree have stayed pretty much the same. We humans may have look at trees with sympathy, pitied their austere landscape for missing on fun and luxury of modern life.
Whenever it got chance, this enormous Nature defeats and humbles human mind. An easy example is Sea whose every aspect is beyond our grip. Also, remember the last time you looked through the window and got stuck by the soaked leaf caught in wind. This way Nature presents us these extreme version and both of these, for few moments, flushes our mind with humble emotion and also takes us to the edge of life, helps to transcend many our self created emotional limitation/boundaries like anger, jealousy etc.
Alternative Super-power?
US is the reigning super power and some are looking for an alternative. How good, sane are these potential candidates? Not that we need anything at all, but I have not yet seen the world without super-power, so I do not know.
In general, sovereign country’s policy could not be dictated by outsiders, this is very much true once the country rises to the throne of superpower because it becomes assertive, in worst case arrogant. So, only the Citizens that makeup the super-power can control the leader, and this makes Democracy a must-have attribute of super-power. And not just any kind of Democracy would do (a good example is Indian democracy), it should be a strong democracy with few of the following.
-A responsible and constructive opposition party that does not block everything blindly for plitical purpose. (India is a good example for not having one.)
-A constitution which is not just on paper but helps the Citizens. A strong judicial system must be present to apply the constitution. This is important because in Democracies like India, constitution is just a piece of paper, hardly rescues its citizens. Constitution should provide tools, by means of rights to dissect the internal and foreign policies of Govt. (Like, right to track Govt. records).
-A vocal but decent citizens who are not afraid to express their thoughts about Foreign policy, take part in debates and blogs. These citizens should be courageous enough to scrutinize Govt. to the hilt regarding Foreign affairs, and ask what it is doing to World.
I am not a Constitution professor, so whatever I wrote above is based on what I see around. As far as I know, none of the Asians countries have all of the above but there are few western countries that meet these requirements. Obviously US is a mature democracy with all these abilities. Here is an example, Govt wanted to prosecute the chauffer of Bin Laden and there were people in favor of severe sentence and people who advocated that chauffer is no Bin Laden. If the 9/11 had happened in India, it would have been hard to avoid physical threat if one were to advocate in favor of Bin Laden’s chauffer, but in US, citizens debated, blogged to acquit Bin Laden’s chauffer. And in the end, amidst the raging debate, US court awarded a minimum sentence to chauffer.
US off-stream media is full of foreign policy critics and conspiracy theorists; yes, those critics, bloggers may not bring policy change over night but important thing is that Govt. gave them the chance to express their voice; who knows their voice may make some one to really act. After listening to liberal media, I should say that worst critics of US are inside US.
US Govt. is arrogant but its citizens are mature enough to keep it on the leash, and citizens are Russia, China and India are not even anywhere close.
Democracy in Pakistan
I see Pakistan as a failed democracy and to some extent even India is not that far(based on where I stand).
When political system itself is corrupt, honest individuals will not be able to rise to the position of 'Leader' and 'voting' becomes thing like that obligation in a broken marriage, and a tool to legitimize corruption. If the system is so corrupt intellectual act hardly helps, example is the lawyers strike.
Ordinary people are not intellectuals, they just want to live, and it is sad that they are caught in the this, neither voting helps them nor they are Gandhi
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7600917.stm
Interview
These are the things that I have learnt, over the years, about technical interviews.
1) Tech industry has broad divisions like: server side, security, GUI etc. It is would help if the interview knows these so that he could pro-actively inject these in to conversation, so that interviewer could latch on to these.
Ex: Here is piece of conversation
interviewee: I wrote an IMAP client.
interviewer: Was it designed run on Server?
[this gives me a clue that interviewer was interested in knowing whether the person being interviewed had any server-side experience]
2) Interviewer might want to know, how well the candidate, can apply technical knowledge? So they usually ask the candidate to describe the practical scenario where she/he had do apply the XYZ technology.
Example: Describe me a scenario where you had to use 'Synchronization' objects?
In response it is better to use a scripted example so that it sounds compelling. One way to prepare these scripts is thoughfully go through the past experinces, pick a RIGHT one and decribe it as if one is being interviewed.
These are the things that I have learnt, over the years, about technical interviews.
1) Tech industry has broad divisions like: server side, security, GUI etc. It is would help if the interview knows these so that he could pro-actively inject these in to conversation, so that interviewer could latch on to these.
Ex: Here is piece of conversation
interviewee: I wrote an IMAP client.
interviewer: Was it designed run on Server? [this gives me a clue that interviewer was
interested in knowing whether the person
being interviewed had any server-side
experience]
2) Interviewer might want to know, how well the candidate, can apply technical knowledge? So they usually ask the candidate to describe the practical scenario where she/he had do apply the XYZ technology.
Example: Describe me a scenario where you had to use 'Synchronization' objects?In response it is better to use a scripted example so that it sounds compelling. One way to prepare these scripts is thoughfully go through the past experinces, pick a RIGHT one and decribe it as if one is being interviewed.
http://www.lookupanyone.com
This is a serious stuff, http://www.lookupanyone.com has all the personal details for sale. They will show preview of it without payment and buy full details after paying 40$. This site is held by a company located at
Intelius, Inc.
Attn: CUSTOMER SERVICE
500 - 108th Ave NE #1660
Bellevue, WA 98004
Do they have SSN?
They claim that they have SSN but that seem to be lie because of following reason. When I searched for my name, they showed two results with different postal address, and both address were correct, I have lived at those addresses; my point is if they were to have my SSN, they would have linked those two results in to one. I am almost tempted to buy my personal results and see what they have.
spitting & throwing
There is a subtle difference between 'spitting' and 'throwing'; before 'spitting' the object should have been welcomed to come inside the mouth and to take that step the object must have been a thing of desire, and consequently 'spitting' is more painful version of expulsion, and it is like 180 degree turn around compared to throwing, which is lot more casual act :-)
What made me think about this?
Peter Murphy's song "cuts you up" made me dwell deeper in to spitting. Note that his songs does not convey the same meaning as I described above.
Personally I associate this song with frustration that one undergoes while learning any creative thing. My favorite lines are.... 'it takes you in and spits you out' when you start feeling that you know everything.
Cuts you up - Peter Murphy
.............
You know the way it throws about.
It takes you in and spits you out
It spits you out when you desire
to conquer it, to feel you're higher
.............
.............
Legally unethical?
Looks like TECH especially S/W companies are releasing the products prematurely just to meet their share-holder's deadline. And most of managers are just saving their skin by satisfaying their superior instead of standing for the quality of s/w, and in that zeal to appease they do not mind letting a crappy product go to customer.
Unfortunately there is nothing illigal about it... and I attribute this to overwhelming influence of wall-street.
Aging in to a cynic
People tend towards cynicism as they age, and usual things do not seem to make them spring like they would have done in younger years.
I see art as an exception; music, literature and paintings might still be able to move even the aged. So to be on safer side, when mind is still open for ideas, it is good to develop a taste for art(in addition to sex and money) .
War and Victory
For an outsider, victory is minuscule in the vast theatre of war, a shiny chair in the big auditorium. In real world, one can not say when exactly one tresspasses victory and how it looks, so in a way victory is a blur.
Days that we need are...
Step-father day
Step-mother day
Son day
Daughter day
Step-son day
Step-daughter day
Maid's day
Should certainly boost the economy.
What if either India or China cease to exist?
There are many movies on what happens a city in US get wiped out, and I am sure that is already is sated subject but there are unsatisfied viewers.
More worrying this if there is a natural disaster in either India or China, big enough to wipe the country out of the map, world would have have serious problems. The disaster that I am thinking is something like some celestial object hitting those country or great Everest bursting out. In such a scenario following are the things to worry...
a) What happens to world's economic balance. Currently China is world's biggest factory and we are all have been made dependent on it?
b) Will UN secure the borders of affected country against vicious neighbors? Take an scenario where India gets wiped out of the planet earth, and then expatriate Indians would like to rebuild the country, will the UN help them secure the nation against China/Pakistan?
I think Hollywood should make a movie on this subject.
Do we need Natural disasters?
In one word I would say "YES". It has advantages, one is that it reminds humans that they are not the masters and that might make them behave little bit decently. If were no natural disasters, I am sure humans would have pruned the nature completely.
There is another tiny advantage of bringing the population down, but I am yet to see the result of this because people who dies in these accidents are usually in terms on 1000s++ which is nothing compared to billions++ population. Also if you take in to account the money that goes in to reinstate the affected people, it is not worth.
Needless to say that people affected from it this is insensitive, but in broader terms these these catastrophes should make us more responsible.
paint scoop size
I have started learning to have better control over color mixing, and this is small part of my effort to apply Munsell's color theories. During this i will have to be able to measure the amount of paint that is going in to mix, and do this I do not have a measuring cup, instead I have to somehow use the pallette knife, and when ever I scoop up the paint, I have to memorize scoop size and count how many scoops. This is very crucial for mixing and somehow I never did this in past. I do not know why Art schools do not address these issues forget about letting the student practise. I am realizing that this is very crucial.
Overcoming still harmony of life
There is a string-instrument that also resembles a lady showing her back to us, and neither the string-instrument nor the lady is defined distinctly using crisp edges. Presence of strings just hints about the String-instrument and similarly hair just hints that there is a lady, and every thing in between the string and hair represent neither human body nor string-instrument.
Strings of the string-instrument's are broken and also been depicted as chain. And the fresh breeze, shown using green colour represents arrival of fresh energy, and the lady's hair color is indicating that she is absorbing it.
Now, let us go beyond this visual description to the meaning; Life style, especially the ones adhering to the popular social templates could be sounding like a perfect hamrony to neighours but be boring to the owner of life. And the lady, shown here is one such frustrated individual, and under the influence of fresh breeze, she has broken the chains of her monotonus life and has also decided not to play the music to sooth others. Essentially I have tried to depict a person who is over coming monotony of life and I hope you are also able see it.
Diorama - Dear brother
This song is by Diorama and this remainds me of song "Sinner in me" by Martin L. Gore, and both these songs are about the Sinner inside us. We cannot define this sin using generic rules of our society, and the sin that I am referring to is rather personal and might not be sin at all, according to society. This Sinner does not have shape so we can neither kill nor expose him/her to be prosecuted by outsiders. We continue to carry them and live, hoping that they would die one day, before us.
Coming back to the song, lyrics is compelling and also impersonal compared to some of his other songs. I have marked my favourite lines with <->
Diorama - Dear Brother
I am your doubt
Your constant sin
The swollen shape <->
Of your regrets <->
You make your way
To where I am
As you remain
Inside the cold white room
Brother shoot me down
Kill me from within
I am the void
Carved in your face
All eyes and ears
Are bouncing off
Don't let a sound
Seep through the wax
You left a friend
Inside the cold white room
Brother shoot me down
Kill me from within
Brother shoot me down
Kill me once again
I'm the hurricane <->
In your water glass <->
Stir me <->
Stir me <->
I am your first step
Into no man's land
Walk me
Walk me
Brother shoot me down <->
Kill me from within <->
Brother shoot me down
Kill me once again
As I write this I am listening to this song, wish I could post the mp3 file. If you get to listen to the song I am sure you would get bitten by scream "Brother shoot me down... Kill me from within.."
painting "due to reckless virility"
This is painting is about impact of over population on Nature. A twig is being chased by phallic pistol which symbolises over population. Twig is jumping over the fence to escape from man. Blue block on the right edge is a human body(see the shape of obdomen and navel) and is approching the twig, totting his pistol/penis. As he moves, he is lifting the land underneath(see the furling ground) . Man's foot is coming down from the top, crushing tree trunks.
In broader terms is overpopulation is an unquestionable hollistic weapon that humans or nations or groups use for various purpose( say to conquer the land).
Final painting
Practicing 1
Practicing 2
Cheap black-mail
Why these people want to someone's rights...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/5275866.stm
By using holocaust for such trivial cause one just cheapens the history.
Spineless Indian Govt. descends to Chinese Govt. side
This is news is shocking...
"...Beijing said Mr Narayanan had reiterated that the government in Delhi viewed Tibet as part of China...."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7321899.stm
Giving work to Chinese Govt's inet blocking s/w
Tibet dfdhsadhsdavfhv tibet bnzcxvgzdxvchgsdfhdsvfhdfavb
tibet dsjkdvfjksdbvbadjcb
http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20080317-great-firewall-of-china-expands-as-tibetan-riots-continue.html
:-)
Audio-dictionary project
This is about my Audio-dictionary project who's goal is to convert English dictionary in to a mp3 file. English dictionary contains far too many words and frankly I am not interested in all of them, in fact I need just tiny part of it so this audio dictionary holds selected few words.
Simplistic view
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(M-W Dictionary) ----> (Text-To-Speech Engine) ---> (WAV file)
Detailed steps
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
0) Installed AT&T Text-To-Speech or "TTS Engine" on my PC
1) Choose the words from TEXT version of Merriam Webster Dictionary,
to make files like a.xml, b xml.. etc
2) Wrote a program to
a. read words from XML file and feed in to "TTS Engine"
b. programmed "TTS Engine" save the words as WAV file.
3) Convert the WAV file to MP3 file.
Current status
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have prepared the WAV containing the words starting with letter A and yet to repeat this proven mechanism on the words starting from other letters.
Why.....?
In my profession of software engineering I use few words for everything and feel lacking when I try to write paragraphs, especially the compound sentences are open pits. So to do something for this I am trying to improve my grammar and also vocabulary and this audio dictionary is part of that town.
Collecting Word...
Two years ago, I started thinking about making an audio-dictionary and began underlining the words on paper edition of pocket sized Oxford English dictionary. Next was to transfer the words from paper to PC by manually typing(note that I had chosen only few words under each alphabet). I had two concerns about this methods namely: I was using abridged version of dictionary with subset of words and pocket dictionary did not have examples; I believe that best way to keep a word in memory is to listen or read it being used.
e-Dictionary instead of paper version..
I started searching again for different source of words, a dictionary, and this new slightly ambitious agenda required me to transfer plenty more words from paper to PC and that looked impractical, and that is when I focused on e-Dictionary so there would not be need for me to type words in to PC.
Web-based dictionary or Text-based dictionary....
I started with www.m-w.org, a Web-based dictionary and thought of programmatically querying the web server for word's meaning, and this strategy did not go anywhere, moreover www.m-w.org lacked examples so gave up the idea of using www.m-w.org. No other online dictionaries,like www.dictionary.com, were worth pursuing because they lacked history of publishing any paperback editions.
Cleaning up Gutenberg's project dictionary....
Then reluctantly, I browsed Gutenberg project site and found text-based version of 1903 edition of Merriam Webster dictionary. There were 26 files, one for every word, and these files were big, with elaborate information on every word, including examples, and also found that these files had syntax similar to XML. I decided to use Gutenberg's files as source of words and started deleting the unnecessary details about words, using my C# scripts. In addition to this I also deleted hundreds of words completely.
Regular Expression
Cleaning dictionary was all about searching for patterns and replacing, and Regular Expression is made for such kind of work. I used Visual Studio 2005 editor to search & replace based on patterns.
At present I have done this for file containing the words starting with "A" and need to repeat for other files. So I have A.xml and A.wma
Right Text-To-Speech(TTS) voice....
WindowsXP comes with a synthetic voice, sounds too robotic to comprehend. Then I came across sweet sounding AT&T natural voices, at first I thought they are expensive but costed just 40$, and I think cheap for so much natural sounding voices named: Mike16 and Crystal16.
Program using TAPI ....
Now I had both TTS voice, A.xml ready and just needed a program to take the lines from A.xml and feed them to TTS engine. I reading TAPI, a COM based Microsoft's voice library and wrote an application in C++. TAPI is scalable in sense one can set different volume to words contained in same sentence, and TAPI also has XML syntax to spell the words, and my program is able use these features of TAPI. Last surprising thing was TAPI is able to save the voice in to a WAV file and had not expected this from TAPI. Now I can add TAPI to my resume.
Is this all useful?
I have listened to WAV file several time and surprisingly I find the XML file more use full than the WAV file. XSLT made a.xml very much readable, here is snapshot of it.
View of a.xml
Grip to go back
It seems that distinct times of our past are like texture on rock, they provide us the grip to go back.
Make UN a non-political body
I have heard a lot about UN resolutions in past 8 years and based on that I have arrived at the following: UN is not practical as political body and there are plenty of evidences to prove that, resolutions against Israel get vetoed out by US and UN is unable to arrive at any consensus on Dar fur because China is blocking everything as permanent member of Security council.
Even if a resolution goes through, UN will not be able to impose the resolution because it does not have strong army.
But UN is good at generating ripple about the general issues like Poverty, Global warming, etc. When UN talks, such issues get the credibility required to motivate the people to take on their respective Govt, and that could lead the individual country to take some action.
So please make UN apolitical body.
And aside from this why does China want to be permanent member of security council if it does not want to intervene in other country's internal matter? this is really puzzling me...
Glad EU is taming Microsoft.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7266629.stm
EU is trying to do what US govt failed to do, that is to make Microsoft play fairly. Both Microsoft and other companies write applications to work against Microsoft's own products like: Exchange Server, SQL server and both theoritically use same public API but in some cases Microsoft applications seems to overcome the limitations of published API and thus outsmart the applications written by others. And this shows that Microsoft is taking advantage of their parental knowledge of their product to outsmart the third party application writers and this I think is illegal.
That said I am not a pathological MS hater and have programmed for their products since 1997; and their MSDN is an excellent source of information; and the quality of products is much better when compared to IBMs, Adobes, and other Fortune-500s...
Microsoft just use 'virtual' keyword for VTABLE
Looks like in C#, Microsoft wanted to either re-invent or confuse us with plathora keywords: sealed, interface, abstract, virtual, override, new, base, etc... to just to replace 'virtual' of C++.
I hate to spend time on learning these 'transient' technologies, all said and done it is just a VTABLE with a bunch of function pointers, you do not need jombory of keywords. I rather paint something instead of learning these shitty microsoft tech-vapour....
Over-domesticated Indian society
It is an ordeal to be part of Indian culture if only you are a open-minded individual. I am not exaggerating and nor am I mad:-) it is real, you do not have to set foot on the motherland to feel the prick, traits are there even in non-tropical colonies.
I think due over domestication, animal in them has lost its teeth. No wonder many Indians boast that their society is oldest. People's life do not err, fluctuate, they are steady like railway track, nothing could change the peace except for an earthquake or hurricane. Over domestication has turned individuals in to puppets and an abstract thing called "archaic-society" hold the strings. In fact India hosts a largest assembly of puppet population :-)
Over-domestication has breed family-pride instead of national-pride. If you do not believe look at the stagnant living standard. Living standard would stay the same as long as one stays domesticated. If there are enough people pushing the envelope then the infrastructure will improve, but how much of the population thinks beyond their blood-family.
The society that can not tolerate Pamela Anderson will probably fail to breed an Einstein. Society can not have it all one way.
What is the help being frustrated, you can not change status-quo because fuc*ing population is huge. In such case there are there few things you can do
-Leave the decaying place
-Shut the door to society and live
-If you are not fortunate to execute the above, just know that there are people who understand your misery.
This blog will continue, sadly for generations...
Passage to other side
I used the word passage to create a feeling of exploration so made the passage rough. All along the history, making across a channel has been associated with pride, love and glory and I see the same scene here...
There is an another way to look at this painting and that is as trade between 2-dimensional love and 3-dimensional lust.
This is a scavenged painting....
Three years back, a model posed for students in my painting class, and she sat there for couple of hours, and I could not complete the painting in that window of 2hrs, and I did not even pretend to do so...:-). When the lady left that afternoon, I had barely made any progress and had just captured hers essentials
Two months back, while I was looking for a spare canvas for practicing, came across this painting lying in the same state as I had left 3 years ago, with just the essentials. As I said I did not reproach but wanted to cover the whole canvas with BLUE paint so that I could re-use it for practice work. With this in mind, I started to act and I had covered 90% percent of the canvas with blue expect for the prime part of the body. Then, I stopped for few moments for no reason, and at that time whole canvas had been covered with BLUE expect for the lady with orange body, and it did not require much attention to see some value in that composition. On the second attempt I saw two distinct land/sides: one covered in cold-blue and the other smeared with warm-color, then feeling lucky I stopped painting in order to take bath and there arrived at the current title.
In the coming days, I worked to make it appear like Passage to other side and got the face of rock one side and lady on other side, and note that there was no cave-man standing.
Then the idea of solitary flower came, but thought that having it alone would make it too obvious, so introduced a beholder for stem, in the form of a drawing, looking like cave-man's art work. Using drawing to make the gesture of love made sense because of it's association even gesture looked archaic and less real. Also observe the signs of flame around the beholder and animal face is apparent so sometimes it looks like me a trading of love for lust :-)
Well, irrespective of motives I am happy with this painting, oh hell, they are too. -lol
Other end of human's genteel 'Need'
Influence....
We stretch our purse to us dress ourself as sophisticated individuals in society and also bestow things on our family, to show how sensitive and caring we are. This well-trodden way to become genteel human might not be so humane in the end because I believe some where a tree is going to get knocked down while we are burnishing our image in society. If we fallow the life-line of human-need, we might see a socially honorable human being at one end and a dead tree on the other end. Unfortunately, this is fact of life, we have to pollute to live comfortably, and strictly speaking every individual in civilized society puts strain on Nature in one way or other, and I do that all the time and so you also, in spite of knowing that our land is a train with no breaks.
coming back to painting...
I presume that all most all components are obvious expect for the orange object on left, and that I see as a burning electric bulb but some of my friends saw that as person's back, and I think both the impressions make sense because man pays and the electric bulb, a proxy, hunts.
This is how I got this idea; I had exhausted myself by brooding over this subject for months and suddenly this idea of leaf and electric cable entangled, as if in a duo came to my mind, and I felt relieved and was extremely happy to see the noose because it symbolized how ruthless humans could get in order to attain day-to-day comforts.
This is how the things evolved; before I started the actual work, I just had three core components in mind, and they were cable, tree-branch and noose. I knew how to glue them together but did not know how to fill rest of the canvas, and this was expected because I was not painting based on any photograph. Then moving to the backdrop of the scene, I thought of filling the left side of canvas with an orange glow as if coming from of a distant street light, and wanted this light to gradually get darker, reaching violet at the center of the canvas, and go further to become dark blue near the right edge. So I wanted the background to grow as follows (start-with-Orange)->(dark-red->violet-in-middle)->(dark-blue-on-right-edge).
With these impressions in mind, I started working on creating the effect of distant street light, and while I was struggling to do this, I saw the orange colored shape resembling a hut develop and was in two minds whether to go with hut or continue to the effort to get street-light effect but I did not favor the idea of hut because it did not go well with the overall story of the painting. I tried again to get the street-light effect but the orange glow started looking like an electric bulb, and this is something which I had never imagined but electric-bulb fitted well with over all theme of painting so I happily embraced the light-bulb instead of street light:-). This is an example for spontaneous evolution. I was worried that noose could get lost in dark background but electric-bulb took care of the that, and it's light was strong enough to illuminate the grass/land surrounding noose, thus I was able to make noose stand out.
Color of noose...
I selected bright blue for electric cable because of two reasons: one is that color blue, stands for industrialization(energy needs and atomization of life) and the another is that blue colored loop stood well against warm orange background.
Apprehensions....
-I was tense and too cautious while working on leaf so they look somewhat
artificial....
- This painting is for just personal fancy, without any great intension because we
all know well that day-to-day needs are unsurmountable...
Riddled with money
Influence...
I have listened to the kins of economy talk about it's growth and they really believe that growth as the ultimate truth but many outsiders, who are not enemies, do not see that way. Apart from this, I strongly believe that nature usually pays for every dollar that we earn and I brooded about this for months and some how this idea of leaf bearing a hole, looking like $, came to my mind. The idea in raw form was to draw a leaf with perforation resembling dollar sign.
Now coming back to painting....
I wanted just the leaf nothing else on canvas and so thought of using a small canvas to hold just a leaf. Around that time, I had abandoned a painting, done on a small canvas and it had streaks of colors drawn using random acrylic colors; and these colors were dark enough to stage a leaf starkly, so I decided to re-use that abandoned 8' x 10' canvas.
Around the same time my friend introduced me to his friend in Goth club and he being an experienced painter suggested me to practice several times before moving on to eventual canvas. I too had thought of this earlier but had not acted on it and some how practicing was not my style and lack of time was my excuse but his words made my guilt float so determined, I started practicing timidly, by drawing a leaf with $ imprinted on it and the canvas that I used had white background but my eventual canvas had dark background. Well it was not a perfect practice session but reduced my guilt, see I am not a true painter :-)
Then I started working on real canvas and painted a leaf and $. It took several days to get the leaf & dolor right and you know I am not well versed in painting :-). The dolor sign that I had drew had one line but my friend said that there should be two lines and I too had suspected this but the google search had mislead me. Then I re-worked to get another line on $. So if look closely you will see two lines on S :-)
I still do not think that I have done good job here because few could not visualize it as $ and and emphasis this point, I prepared following collage by placing same painting in two different orientations.
What about the face?
In the middle of the canvas, there is a face with two eyes and that was an accident; and yes that face looks like the face in Munch's painting Scream.
day after Valentaine's day
heaven weaved Marriage
in two dimensions
but untied the land to
consummate in 3 dimensions
Is 'save-planet' agenda no more virgin?
Govt's bio-fuel policies are influenced by lobbyist and also politically driven, and are not solely intended to save planet. You think I am cynical and may be you are true to some extent :-) Example: Brazil uses Sugarcane for Bio-fuel but US does not; and the reason is Sugar cane is expensive in US and why is it expensive? and Can we make it cheap ?. Based on a historic agreement between Sugarcane growers and US Govt, price of Sugar can not be adjusted and so it will always stay high. This shows how one can not be honest and also make a successful policy.
Cutting forest to grow Corn is a bad idea because along with forest goes the 1000 of years of ecosystem and bringing back this ecosystem is not as simple as planting an another tree somewhere else. What I think is that loosing forest to save few corbon does not look like a good deal to me and we should continue to use what ever we have till we come up with some healthy alternative. Look at Indonesia where farmers are turning the forest in to Palm oil (another Bio-fuel source) plantation.
I was wondering why no Govt is speaking openly against Bio-fuels and last month EU accepted that it made a mistake by endorsing Bio-fuels.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7186380.stm
Also a company working on Cellulosic Ethonal based Bio-fuel got acquired by GM and unfortunately that news did not get any coverage.
http://www.dailytech.com/...article10320.htm
In this current environment where EVERY decision is taken based on the economic growth, the business community has started making these superficially green products instead of producing durable products to curb rampant consumerism. Tech companies phase out their product in 6 months to show economic growth and then try to sell replacement as 'green-version'.
[waste generated by phased out product +
energy spend on making,transporting,marketing Green replacment]
does not get outweighted by
[greenness of Green replacment]
How pure is the conscience of politicians who talk about saving planet and in the next breath approve tax rebate so that consumer can buy more goods?
Have not we already polluted the pious cuase like "saving-planet"?
Online books stops & postal service miserable in India
How it all started...
I live in Newyork and wanted to send few books to my family in Bangalore. You think it is as easy as going online and placing an order... no that easy...
And after reading economic pages of newspaper, you would also think that there would be one because it is so called emerging economy at least on economic pages.
Miserable online book stores.
I started by searching for online retail bookstores located in India and was happy to find one and I even placed the order. But the retailer came back the next day saying that he could not find not even a single book among 11. We shoudl all thank the store for not adding to mysery by charging my credit card.
Barnes and Nobles...
Then I ordered same books in Barnes and Nobles(an online retal bookstore located in US) and opted to ship using non-courier service. Price of book was 62$ and shipping cost came to 67$
Dishonest Postal service
Non-courier services use Indian postal service and the books sent by Barnes and Nobles never reached Bangalore, even after waiting for two months. The book stores declared the shipment as lost and refunded my money. Then I had to shipped using FedEx and books reached the destination. Price of book was 62$ and shipping came to 89$
How does globalization help?
Guys, I juuu....st want to buy books online... nothing fancy here.....
Investors are driven by numbers, opinions hardly to by what helps the people; to give you an example if the cell phone market looks good everyone jumps in to it and beat it to death. I know once the online books market becomes popular, investors will lineup like sheeps of a hurd....
In the end
Does economic booms means improvent in ordinary folk's life style or just raise in wealth of call-center-investor?
Sharing Classic ASP and ASP.Net 'session' data
http://www.eggheadcafe.com/articles/20021207.asp
According to above article you can do it by submitting a "FORM" from classic ASP.
Go throught it...
Google's ads. has made web a vulgar place
Google's ad. are like leeches there are on every webpage. Like the above example, placement of ad. could be deceptive.
I do not know why at all a company pays for placing it's ad. because there would be 10 other ads. on a single page, competing for attension. Google is just making money by letting every tom & dick showcase his or her's greed.
Web user is a victim of this maelstrom of Google ads in few ways:
a) Many of these ad. links might take you to a spam site; and a novice user, could easily land himself in trouble.
b) These ads. does not have iota of creativity and are out right vulgar.
c) Web pages have lost their aesthetics and thus taken out the pleasure out of leisurely web browsing.
Is "disable Google ads." button the solution?
What about Microsoft adding a special button to IE called "disable Google ads." button? And can this land MS in an anti-trust pit?
over shopping leads to Breast cancer
"Hormonal imbalance induced by over shopping could lead to Breast cancer"
This is a funny idea but why not try. This might stop us from buying the things that we do not really need. When ever we dispose a working product to replace it with a new one, we generate a chain of waste.
I feel like bribing some University Professor to voice this outrageous opinion in the name of saving planet :-)
as flower blooms
It is such a common phenomenon; petals stay clung to each other during their infancy, but as they bloom, the distance between them also increases.
bare legs in baskets
delicate, bare limbs
will fetch you footwear,
not one but a pile; to cover
till you step-out of this land
Slender fruit, being seasonal
will perish and slide,
but the bestowed baskets,
will persist and stay high
Quote by Cohen
"...she was living with some boy
who gives her soul an empty room and gives her body joy..."
-Leonard Cohen in "Death Of A Ladies' Man"
Monitoring Hard Disks with SMART
In my PC, Chasis fan and CPU fan used to run at 2500rpm and 2900rpm respectively and it was noisy; then I enabled Fan-Q-control in BIOS and CPU fan came down to 950rpm and consequently machine became silent. I have set to Q-Control is OPTIMUM. According to ASUS tool CPU & SYSTEM temparatures are 12C and 30C respectively; but HDDs are hot and I sensed it physically and this is not scientific way to measure.
I came across an article on standard that HDD manufacturer's compy to and according to that standard HDD is supposed to provide info on it's health...
http://www.linuxjournal.com/article/6983
Black & Decker, why the fuc* rice cooker stops working?
Today my Black & Decker stopped turning on...
1) what fuc*ing unmastered complicated technology runs inside this rice cooker?
2) why you fuck*s make product that fails in 2 years?
3) why do you create unnecessary waste to pollute the planet and then come on TV and talk about saving the fuck*ing planet?
You corporates are disgusting people... I do not even have words for you fucke*s
"Raven hair turns gray" -- how it happened?
This image took shape in my mind during the last weeks of my interaction with my gray-haired friend, Jeanne. This sketch is a last word in that conversation that lasted couple of years.
Following are components and ideas of sketch.
Face
There is a face in the bottom corner and every other component of this sketch belongs to the person represented by this face; and probably that individual is dead or in the vicinity of it. When I started working on this sketch, first, face came out as man's face, may be due to wrinkles and later I tried to change it to woman's face; and it seems eventually it ended up having tiny features of both gender.
Life and it's change
In this sketch, Hair represents life and variation in the density of hair shows change in strength. Hair starts thick with undulations, fluctuation; and with the age it becomes flat,lean and dim, like river in desert.
I used Rapidograph pens to draw hair but Rapidograph pens produces flat, unwavering lines. So, to bring some texture in, I had to use 5 different pens, each containing different size nib(0.25mm, 0.35mm, 0.50mm, 0.60mm and 0.80mm).
Breadth of Life or Age
Line made by parting hair(parting-line) on the scalp is used to show breadth or age or movement in life; and this parting line looks like river. When I started working on this sketch, I wanted parting-line to resemble a winding road and it was a struggle to make it appear like one. After completing the sketch, I went back and changed the road in to river and also threw in two boats; the moving boat conveys living and capsized boat shows stagnation or end.
Why this name 'Raven hair turns gray'?
Even after weeks after completing this sketch, I did not have a proper title. I believe that there should be proper name to represent a painting. Few undeserving titles like "flow" were in the list. Few months back I heard a haunting song by Delgados, and they had used the phrase "raven hair" and it was still lingering in my mind; and one night, when everyone was sleeping I stole this from Delgados and connected with my sketch.
I had to practice by drawing few samples to fill-in the gaps in my imagination; and here are those samples.
Final sketch of "Raven hair turns gray"
Trial 1
Trial 2
Trial 3
Calculating power consumption of PC...
I am not to write about save power to salvage the drowning world....
Recently I found out that on AMD Dual Core machine, "Smart sharpening" of Adobe Photoshop takes just 2sec to sharpen a image of resolution, 3000x4500. That shook me because same operation takes 40 sec on my 1.8ghz single core PC !!!!
So I started thinking of buying a new motherboard, RAM, Dual Core CPU...
but I wanted to retain existing power supply and was not sure whether it can feed 5HDs and also new Dual Core CPU. So, I wanted to know, how to measure the power consumed by 5 hard disks that are currently sitting in my PC.
This hightly informative and also practical post guided me while estimating the power consumed by devices of my PC.
In the early stages of this research I found out that once started that my 410W PSU can supply the WATS required by 5HDs and DualCore CPU, but in this investigation I found out that what also matters is the power required at the time booting because devices draw their peak current ONLY at the time of booting. So I dug out manufacturer's specification for all HDs and noted down the maximum current needed at the time of booting.
This is my power supply (PSU) specification
As the image shows my PSU could deliver a maximum of 20Amps @ 12V.
Following shows the current drawn by various devices, at the time of booting..
Samsung(250gb)----->1.9
Samsung(250gb)----->1.9
Maxtor(200gb)------>1.5(guess)
WD(60gb)----------->1.8
Stg(160gb)--------->2.0
Case fans(3)------->0.5
AMD Dual CPU------->8.24
VGA---------------->0.5
DVDR--------------->0.8
-----------------------------
Total 19.14A
-----------------------------
Conclusion: 19.2A is not far from 20A, which is the maximum current that my existing PSU can deliver, so I decided to buy an external harddrive enclosure to host Samsung 250gb SATA drive and this would bring down boottime current demand from 19.2 to 17.1...
Mount St. Helens a collage
Recently I was at Mount St. Helens hiking Norway Pass/Boundary Trail; this is a 5 mile hike which took us right across the cradle of the crater. It is hard to describe the things that we saw on this trail,I would say that land looked like a collage of tree, rock, ash etc.
I came across a site with interesting facts about Mount St. Helens.
http://www.olywa.net/radu/valerie/mshbefore.html?
http://www.olywa.net/radu/valerie/mshduring.html?
Indian ink bleeds on Gesso board
I admire the flexibility of using acrylic color ink and acrylic paint in a same painting. This works out quite well on an canvas made out of cotton, but fails easily on Gesso board, but I was expecting Indian ink to hold on, but it turned out that even Indian ink bleeds, but not to the extent of Acrylic color Ink; any bleeding is unacceptable.
Last week I initiated a sketch using Indian ink on a Gesso board and today, by accident came to know that ink is bleeding. Fortunately I had not proceeded deep in to the sketch. Initially I could not believe this, I doubted that I could have re-filled the pen without drying it properly after cleaning it with water, but that turned out to be not true. To test this out once for all, using Indian ink, I scribbled on a Gesso board and few hours later a wet brush was able smear the lines. Here is the picture of this....
So the lesson is NEVER to use ANY ink (Acrylic color ink or Indian Ink) on Gesso board; canvas seems to be best in gripping ink
.
Can market economy bring Democracy?
Is this really possible? today I heard yet an another discussion on this subject on radio.
Could this be a myth, being propagated intentionally, by greedy corporates who are profiting disproportionately, in disguise?
In an undemocratic state, Can the establishment of a successful business unit guard the ordinary citizen from getting arrested for no reason?
Well, I can not change anything.. writing because there is no one to talk... another sunday night talk....
To whom the life is not fair?, "potential US president" or "the deer"
A candidate running for US presidency(2008), while addressing National Rifle Association, said something to this effect, to cajole the gun loving audience to vote for him "...today my friend went to deer hunting but I am here addressing your organization: life is not fair...." and the lines triggered a round laughter.
I got interested in above lines, not because of the stature of the candidate or the significance of the event, but the line ...life is not fair... can be interpreted in different directions; to whom the life is not fair?, to Mike Huckabee(potential president) or the deer that is being hunted....?
Democracy in middle east
Why did not US chose Saudi Arabia to initiate the process of the democratisation in Middle East?
Democracy needs consensus and because US is in good terms with Saudi Arabia, it would have been much easier to trigger democracy there compared to Iraq.
writing on tombstone
I told my friend that "tombstones will not mention our friends or relatives but about ourself", and he responded by saying that your body will be burnt...
recording dictations
Recently I purchased a portable recording device, it is as small as iPod, but made by Olympus. I purchased this with the intention of using it to record the notes about technical subjects, that I have accumulated in past 11 years. Once done, I could listen to these recordings while doing mundane things and maintain the technical boundaries within the sight.
Why do I have to refresh?
Because there are too many; I have worked on several technologies, both transient and elemental, in past11 years. Most of the technical puzzles, that I come across today, need me to have grasp over these elemental concepts. Without the fresh feel over the subjects, I have been failing to decipher the problems and justify the solution. For me, it is not enough to say that "it should work that way", instead I should know why it is supposed to be that way. Essentially, I should replace 'gut' feeling with 'reason'
This week I dictated few topics out of DON Box's Inside COM in to the recorder; and results encouraged me to dictate an article that I was reading about mixing acrylic paints. Yesterday, at work, I had to dig in to the subject of URL encoding and I collected those notes and dictated it, later in the night, in to the recorder.
My immediate goal is to record the docs that I have prepared on COM, C++, AD, Exchange Server, MAPI etc... and use those recordings to prepare for the job interview.
I want to make it a habit to record as I read; this paraphrasing, on the fly, needs some mental work but will definitely help in the long run.
Let me see how this goes...
mindless Nature
I am coming back from vacation, where I spent most of the 12days, hiking and turning pages of nature. I saw glaciers, fighting not to melt in to a magnificent waterfall; and I came across streams, that did not mind running over anything, including me; and I got seduced by tender leaf; and I hiked in volcanic land of Mount St Helen's, where there was more ash than forest, like light-house,lives there, were far and few; and I waited for smoke/fog/cloud to drift away from mountain peaks, but they rarely responded in time, it appeared that cloud's intention was to curb the naughty mountain peaks from making an indecent exposure, especially when the stage is tall, light is bright; and then I also saw living bark, oozing some kind of sticky substance; and I walked past, dead trees exposing myself to glare, mellow light of sunset and etc...
After seeing so many sources of energy, that constitute this nature, I feel that nature can not be stopped, and every element of it, irrespective of size, is ruthless and mean when it comes to survival. Nature juuuust wants to live.
Usually, the interaction between two aspects of nature gets glorified as mutual understanding, example: a tiny plant sprouting out of the crack off of a rock sitting precariously on a harsh mountain peak; but I do not see any hint of mutual understanding there because when the for survival comes, mountain could crush that plant without giving it a thought; and same goes to plant, slow and steadily, this plant can grow in to a tree and slit the rock in to pieces.
These faces of natures are leading me to believe that Nature is mindless, it has been moving persistently since the beginning of time; look at the stream of water, it always is trying to conquer
Note: To to continued...
Maternity hospital and "Made in USA"
Recently while shopping I could not find anything that was not made in China...
Then I started asking....
What is still being made in USA?
Where can I find it?
My crooked mind said " it is in maternity hospital" -)
being dead.... feeling like dead....
It is sad to be leaving everything to go dead, but feeling like dead is much worse.
heaven, hell and normalcy
Religion tells about heaven and also hell, but we humans, most of the time, just need normalcy
Forester quote
...life is sometimes life and sometimes only a drama, and one must learn to distinguish...
- E. M. Forster from 'Howards End'
This is very common,...just recall the assurances and emotions that poured during happy times; like a holiday season.
Excerpts from novel "Fathers and Sons"
Excerpts from novel "Fathers and Sons" by Ivan Turgenev
Q1)
"In the first place, I'm far from good; and in the second place I no longer mean anything to you, and you tell me that I am good . . .It's just like placing a wreath of flowers round the head of a corpse."
poem: "body-mind-life"
body-mind-life
Beautiful faces are hiding,
haggard thoughts and
unpunctuated lives
"splitting Iraq" and "outsourcing jobs"
I have read a lot of reports recommending splitting of Iraq to bring peace. Ideally, I do not think it is a right path to take because people would always find way to discriminate agaist each other; today it is ethinc background, tomarrow it could something new, we should not yeild to it, it is a bad habit. Praposed solution is a dead end; there is only that much you can see in this road.
There is a parallel between out-sourcing and splitting of Iraq; both actions or rather reactions are very short sighted.
How many times can a society be split to gain the peace?
Similarly, without concentrating valuable inventions, how many quarters can a company show profit by just outsourcing?
End of sense of symmetry for human civilization?
When we start wearing entirely different shoe for each foot, we can assume that are screwed:-)
"Corporate America - an Angel for Slaves" - a poem
--------------------------------------------------
Corporate America is
a continental grave yard
where my brain fuels the fire
and ashes becomes capital share
now my bones are an ember
still, I can't go any where
because my life too needs fire
Corporate America runs
a day less brothel, where
Me a programmed whooore
sated, still I don't go anywhere
because I need a little immoral pleasure
Corporate America is
an Angel for, we slaves
extends my immigrant-soul year a once
and without her I am nowhere
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
©Copyright 2006 slave
See, being part of corporate; I have to Copyright this poem, or else I will be commiting a corporate blasphemy
"protected dream" - painting
"protected dreams"
Idea behind the painting:
While sleeping we all dream. Can we touch those dreams? No, it is not possible.
Some obscure barrier, is stopping you from feeling that dream and also turning the dreamer in to a mere waiting spectator.
One can also say that this barrier is protecting the dream from you.
In deep sleep, our unconscious mind acts as barrier/protector and in reallife there are myriad facts to guard the dream.
And this painting is all about a barrier, dreamer and his/hers protected dream.
About the painting itself
So following three things make up this painting
1) Dream:- Bright Orange background is the dream.
2) Barrier with key hole:- Murky black layer is the barrier and also the protector of the dream
3) Hands:- These two hands represent the stranded dreamers, waiting on the wrong side of the barrier.
Hand of a child and hand of an adult say every one dreams :-)
Other interesting things...
a) How to paint a dream?
It took few weeks to figure out this. I did not want the dream to have any familiar shape or thing.In the end, based on my own dream, I covered the canvas with reddish-orange color.
b) How to represent barrier?
I did not want to have barrier made of bars and grill; so I gave random shape to barrier.Random shape makes sense because of two reason; first is that dreams are fuzzy so are the barrier; and second reason is barriers are gray.
c) Glow?
The part that I like the most in this painting is the glow of the dream on hands.
This idea came just I was about to finish the painting :-)
human body is finite and mind is infinite
Following line flashed to my mind few minutes back. I love these jingles :-)
"..human body is finite and mind is infinite.."
How can a finite body host an infinite mind?
Mind may die before the body but when it is functioning mind's potential is unlimited, where as body would always hit limitation.
how to be young?
People want to remain young but time does not co-operate. Many people, as they move away from the origin of life or child wood, they become feel hard to resist the lost youth. Youth, an unaffordable necessity, leads to pretension, which takes various forms like; clothes, extra marital affairs and hobby. Hobby is the most effective technique.
clothes…
Obvious method adapted to remain young is to 'appear' young; by enhancing face and clothes. Fabric can some time conceal the crack between age & thread, but sometime it may just exaggerate the contrast. My point is this is a double edges sword, one need to be careful in exercising it.
infidelity
Life is like a day hike or climbing a mountain. When you are still crawling at the foot hills and also when you are about to be done at the zenith, you ooze spirit of life. But in the middle of the day and dusk, hiker becomes thirsty, feels the grad of the backpack and starts to tread an un-marked trail, hoping to steal some excitement in a new a relation. Basically some people want to prove that “I can still get a lady/man" :-)
Physical Hobby…
Table games like: Billiards, Table tennis and chess may also do the trick.
Creative Hobby…
Hobby can help a person to show youthful ness unabashedly. Person can pour his/her perpetual teen spirit to their hobbies without getting misunderstood. Some may label you crazy, do not worry; after all, what is life without an obsession? :-)
Among all the hobbies painting, photography is literally ageless. You can do anything in the name of art. My art teacher looked to be in her 50s. When she saw a good painting in our class, she used hold the painting like a trophy and pump her fist in to air, like a teenager in a sport field.
Artist can celebrate youth through their subject. Trembling hand does not stop an Artist from portraying a tender body or picturing sunset.
Is this all called as ‘midlife crises’?
I do not really know the clinical name. After all what is in the name? :-)
Quote from Jeanne
My dearest friend Jeanne is in her 70+ and I met her on my birthday. Clinically she is hopeless. Since she is being fed artificially using tubes, her throat is dry; and in spite of this she mumbled her favourite quote “men have character lines, women have wrinkles”. Even now she seems to miss her youth and she has repeated same quote again and again several times in the past.
When it is all going end?
For many lives this unfathomable desire is perpetual; and can only be conquered by death, provided one does not believe in reincarnation.
"Tale of two cities" by Dickens - snippet1
Saying 'Tale of Two Cities' has beautifull narration is an understatement. I have gone throught this story several times and I have perpetual desire to post some paragraphs which I enjoyed reading most.
"...
A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature isconstituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.A solemn consideration, when I enter a great city by night, thatevery one of those darkly clustered houses encloses its own secret;that every room in every one of them encloses its own secret; thatevery beating heart in the hundreds of thousands of breasts there,is, in some of its imaginings, a secret to the heart nearest it!Something of the awfulness, even of Death itself, is referable tothis. No more can I turn the leaves of this dear book that I loved,and vainly hope in time to read it all. No more can I look into thedepths of this unfathomable water, wherein, as momentary lightsglanced into it, I have had glimpses of buried treasure and otherthings submerged. It was appointed that the book should shut witha spring, for ever and for ever, when I had read but a page. It wasappointed that the water should be locked in an eternal frost, whenthe light was playing on its surface, and I stood in ignorance on theshore. My friend is dead, my neighbour is dead, my love, the darlingof my soul, is dead; it is the inexorable consolidation andperpetuation of the secret that was always in that individuality,and which I shall carry in mine to my life's end. In any of theburial-places of this city through which I pass, is there a sleepermore inscrutable than its busy inhabitants are, in their innermostpersonality, to me, or than I am to them? .."
birthday - an event
I started a painting and it is turning out be good. I am hesitant to touch it; I should plan and then stroke.
This morning I spoke to my mom and for the first time she had forgotten my birthday:-). She sounded apologetic.
Long drive, coffee breaks…
I like driving, dozing on the wheels and coffee breaks at highway service stations. So today, I drive to Connecticut from New York to see Jeanne. It was a lovely cloudy, rainy day; and I saw fog on mountain tips and enjoyed 300mile drive.
Jeanne greeted me saying “Am I dreaming?” She no more has to thrust the food which did not enjoy; she is being artificially fed. Medically is in critical state. She has very nice view in her window but she can not turn her head in any direction, nor she can roll her body. I should visit her more often; unfortunately I may not have to make many trips.
Dinner
I and Ray had an inexpensive dinner at Mexican Takeout. Then we tried solve Lebanon & Israel crisis :-)
culture/religion a symbiotic sin?
My friend says culture is symbiotic, this is indisputable and but I think there are men who have overcome this. Overcoming this can be a virtue and at times could be a tragedy.
You can be cultural/religious, nothing wrong in it. But sometimes culture touches the sacred things and gets too close to the heart. You know how ugly those finger-prints on your eye glasses can be: culture could be as bad/out-of-place as them when seen at wrong place.
my bitter experience with culture/religion has lead me to believe that culture/religion are a symbiotic sin
a stripper does not take culture in to account
"..a stripper does not take culture in to account.." My friend's words are ironic. When I coming out of the gym, I was thinking about the role of culture in the establishing grave boundaries inthe name of diversity.
It is sad, Culture/religion have tainted everything, civilization has tought us how to conceal it.
martin L Gore "By This River"
Sounds like a voice in a dark night. I could not understand the complete meaning except for the last stanza. According to my groping sense it's a about intimate friends separated by a chasm. One is talking like a distant stranger and the other is responding with the equal amount of impersonality.
Martin L Gore "By This River"
-------------------------
Here we are
Stuck by this river,
You and i
Underneath a sky that’s ever falling down, down, down
Ever falling down
Through the day
As if on an ocean
Waiting here,
Always failing to remember why we came, came, came:
I wonder why we came
You talk to me
As if from a distance
And I reply
With impressions chosen from another time, time, time,
From another time
poem-stabbing
ice shop is open
I am stabbing myself
ice shop got shut
I am lacerating myself
ice shop is resuming
I am poking myself
in a spare time
"NUCULAR" now, a recognized pronunciation
As you know G Bush pronounces NUCLEAR as NUCULAR
Webster dictionary has accepted in NUCLAR as one of the valid pronounciation.
Here are sample pranounciations from Webster dictionary
Bush's Nucular
Rest of the world's Nuclear
This is what Webseter's dictionary says about NUCLAR
...
usage Though disapproved of by many, pronunciations ending in \-ky&-l&r\ have been found in widespread use among educated speakers including scientists, lawyers, professors, congressmen, U.S. cabinet members, and at least one U.S. president and one vice president. While most common in the U.S., these pronunciations have also been heard from British and Canadian speakers.....
Dictionary definition
I am using this incident to demonstrate how flexible & accommodating English language is. I am not trying mock at the pronunciation.
poem - misshapen moon
misshapen moon
------------------------
me still an odd crescent
on a land bitter tonight
let me hide in the shade
let the light make me fade
Yesterday, to my drowsy eyes, moon looked shabby and out of that usual sweet dolly shape. It was cloudy and gave moon a place to hide his face. Occasionally, we too search for cloud.
life of creativity
Cloud is a creative produce; sky, as long as it's alive, is going to purse this natural creative routine. We people need not have to fear the end creativity.
"Austria", Iran of west?
David Irving, prosecuted by Austrian court for denying Holocaust
Its unbelievable..
How can someone be prosecuted for his opinion?
Its suck bloody, fu*** law..
Does US should prosecute person who denies 9/11 ?
Its so shocking....
Austrians do not have any moral right to blame mulsims for protesting against Mohammud's cartoon.
poem "invincible winter tree"
invincible winter tree
you are so fine
indivisible by eyes
elude even the snow grains
you have an unique
signature, made of twigs
scribbled on gray space
your naked flame
dodges the cold air and
kept you warm enought to live
your web is incomprehensible
to my infinite mind and
untracable by trembling brush
LAME
I was looking for an open source MP3 encoder library so that I can make my own MP3 files.
If anybody is interested in writing an s/w application for making they can use this LAME library.
http://lame.sourceforge.net/
If you are curios about MP3 patents too…
http://web.media.mit.edu/%7Eeds/mpeg-patents-faq
Is .Net slower? a nice article
I wanted to know how managed C++ works in .Net environment. While doing this research I found some usefull articles.
Writing Faster Managed Code: Know What Things Cost
free speech: "holier" than "godS".
I think Danish paper did not do anything wrong by publishing Prophet Muhammad's cortoon. Some muslism followers might have felt hurt; but freedom of expression is the holiest thing.
I think all the western media including US, AUS should re-publish the cartoon just to uphold the freedom of speech.
In 80', I felt sad when Indian govt banned Salman Rushdie's "Satanic Verses". What more can one expect from a pseudo-democracy?
According to me media should have right to publish article saying
-"Jewish holocaust was a fiction"
-cartoon on Prophet Muhammad
Cartoon itself...
Grizzly man movie
It's a real story of a man who spent months with Grizzly bears.
During this time he shot 100s of hours video of Grizzle bear from a distance too close to be comfortable.
In these videos, you can see him shooting/commenting himself with the help of tripod.
He got killed/eaten by a bear and he is from LongIsland, NY.
Highlights of the movie are
1) Closeups of bears, scenes of bears fighting, etc..
2) Why he preferred bears for human society?
What made him to isolate himself from society for seasons and live in mountains?
logo for my site.
I have been working on my site and was forced to create a logo. Here is the concept behind logo.
'images-expressions'
It's well known that painting can 'talk'; agreed it can not change the day today reality. Photographs speak too, but they are not fluent, like a stammerer. On the other hand, painting has more flexible tongue. I tried to represent 'images-expressions' in the logo.
Logo
Making of logo...
I wanted my logo to have
1) Photography:- Mountain shown in the logo is a photograph/image.
2) Painting:- floating cloud is a painting. Lips seem to assert "I am a better communicator"
3) Human:- Again, floating cloud represents human with it's flesh color, nerves and lips.
4) Nature:- Mountain, trees....
Logo is a merge of a painting & photograph. 
Telling stories
Recently I woke up to this meaningfull song; singer's voice makes it sound real too. I think song is saying the following....Our eyes/ears see observe events and there will be many gaps between these events. When we start intrepreting them, either the next day or 10 year later, we fill in these gaps with exciting assumptions. I think we do this to make our life more interesting..
Here is good example....
Take a case of man in unreciprocated love with "Y". Assume he is also a wishful thinker. There is chance that he may read in between the lines and misinterpret "Y"'s spoken and written words. Thus he may makeup a story and even write it in his dairy but the fact the remains that his love is unreciprocated.
Why "..less mundane..."?
This means he did all this misinterpretation for the sake of excitement. I think this is a both cynical and hopless view of his unreciprocated love.
I think best lines of this song are....
---------------------------------------
You will do and say anything
To make your everyday life
Seem less mundane....
Complete lyrics ~~~~ Telling stories-Tracy Chapman
--------------------------------------------------
There is fiction in the space between
The lines on your page of memories
Write it down but it doesn’t mean
You’re not just telling stories
There is fiction in the space between
You and me
There is fiction in the space between
You and reality
You will do and say anything
To make your everyday life
Seem less mundane
There is fiction in the space between
You and me
There’s a science fiction in the space between
You and me
A fabrication of a grand scheme
Where I am the scary monster
I eat the city and as I leave the scene
In my spaceship I am laughing
In your remembrance of your bad dream
There’s no one but you standing
Leave the pity and the blame
For the ones who do not speak
You write the words to get respect and compassion
And for posterity
You write the words and make believe
There is truth in the space between
There is fiction in the space between
You and everybody
Give us all what we need
Give us one more sad sordid story
But in the fiction of the space between
Sometimes a lie is the best thing
Sometimes a lie is the best thing
tell whom?
Effect of loosing something that you never had is worst because you can not even tell anybody..l
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