poem: "body-mind-life"


Beautiful faces are hiding,
haggard thoughts and
unpunctuated lives

"splitting Iraq" and "outsourcing jobs"

I have read a lot of reports recommending splitting of Iraq to bring peace. Ideally, I do not think it is a right path to take because people would always find way to discriminate agaist each other; today it is ethinc background, tomarrow it could something new, we should not yeild to it, it is a bad habit. Praposed solution is a dead end; there is only that much you can see in this road.

There is a parallel between out-sourcing and splitting of Iraq; both actions or rather reactions are very short sighted.

How many times can a society be split to gain the peace?
Similarly, without concentrating valuable inventions, how many quarters can a company show profit by just outsourcing?

End of sense of symmetry for human civilization?

When we start wearing entirely different shoe for each foot, we can assume that are screwed:-)

"Corporate America - an Angel for Slaves" - a poem

Corporate America is
a continental grave yard
where my brain fuels the fire
and ashes becomes capital share
now my bones are an ember
still, I can't go any where
because my life too needs fire

Corporate America runs
a day less brothel, where
Me a programmed whooore
sated, still I don't go anywhere
because I need a little immoral pleasure

Corporate America is
an Angel for, we slaves
extends my immigrant-soul year a once
and without her I am nowhere

©Copyright 2006 slave

See, being part of corporate; I have to Copyright this poem, or else I will be commiting a corporate blasphemy

"protected dream" - painting

"protected dreams"

Idea behind the painting:
While sleeping we all dream. Can we touch those dreams? No, it is not possible.
Some obscure barrier, is stopping you from feeling that dream and also turning the dreamer in to a mere waiting spectator.
One can also say that this barrier is protecting the dream from you.
In deep sleep, our unconscious mind acts as barrier/protector and in reallife there are myriad facts to guard the dream.
And this painting is all about a barrier, dreamer and his/hers protected dream.

About the painting itself
So following three things make up this painting
1) Dream:- Bright Orange background is the dream.
2) Barrier with key hole:- Murky black layer is the barrier and also the protector of the dream
3) Hands:- These two hands represent the stranded dreamers, waiting on the wrong side of the barrier.
Hand of a child and hand of an adult say every one dreams :-)

Other interesting things...
a) How to paint a dream?
It took few weeks to figure out this. I did not want the dream to have any familiar shape or thing.In the end, based on my own dream, I covered the canvas with reddish-orange color.

b) How to represent barrier?
I did not want to have barrier made of bars and grill; so I gave random shape to barrier.Random shape makes sense because of two reason; first is that dreams are fuzzy so are the barrier; and second reason is barriers are gray.

c) Glow?
The part that I like the most in this painting is the glow of the dream on hands.
This idea came just I was about to finish the painting :-)

human body is finite and mind is infinite

Following line flashed to my mind few minutes back. I love these jingles :-)

"..human body is finite and mind is infinite.."

How can a finite body host an infinite mind?
Mind may die before the body but when it is functioning mind's potential is unlimited, where as body would always hit limitation.

how to be young?

People want to remain young but time does not co-operate. Many people, as they move away from the origin of life or child wood, they become feel hard to resist the lost youth. Youth, an unaffordable necessity, leads to pretension, which takes various forms like; clothes, extra marital affairs and hobby. Hobby is the most effective technique.

Obvious method adapted to remain young is to 'appear' young; by enhancing face and clothes. Fabric can some time conceal the crack between age & thread, but sometime it may just exaggerate the contrast. My point is this is a double edges sword, one need to be careful in exercising it.

Life is like a day hike or climbing a mountain. When you are still crawling at the foot hills and also when you are about to be done at the zenith, you ooze spirit of life. But in the middle of the day and dusk, hiker becomes thirsty, feels the grad of the backpack and starts to tread an un-marked trail, hoping to steal some excitement in a new a relation. Basically some people want to prove that “I can still get a lady/man" :-)

Physical Hobby…
Table games like: Billiards, Table tennis and chess may also do the trick.

Creative Hobby…
Hobby can help a person to show youthful ness unabashedly. Person can pour his/her perpetual teen spirit to their hobbies without getting misunderstood. Some may label you crazy, do not worry; after all, what is life without an obsession? :-)

Among all the hobbies painting, photography is literally ageless. You can do anything in the name of art. My art teacher looked to be in her 50s. When she saw a good painting in our class, she used hold the painting like a trophy and pump her fist in to air, like a teenager in a sport field.
Artist can celebrate youth through their subject. Trembling hand does not stop an Artist from portraying a tender body or picturing sunset.

Is this all called as ‘midlife crises’?
I do not really know the clinical name. After all what is in the name? :-)

Quote from Jeanne
My dearest friend Jeanne is in her 70+ and I met her on my birthday. Clinically she is hopeless. Since she is being fed artificially using tubes, her throat is dry; and in spite of this she mumbled her favourite quote “men have character lines, women have wrinkles”. Even now she seems to miss her youth and she has repeated same quote again and again several times in the past.

When it is all going end?
For many lives this unfathomable desire is perpetual; and can only be conquered by death, provided one does not believe in reincarnation.

"Tale of two cities" by Dickens - snippet1

Saying 'Tale of Two Cities' has beautifull narration is an understatement. I have gone throught this story several times and I have perpetual desire to post some paragraphs which I enjoyed reading most.

A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature isconstituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.A solemn consideration, when I enter a great city by night, thatevery one of those darkly clustered houses encloses its own secret;that every room in every one of them encloses its own secret; thatevery beating heart in the hundreds of thousands of breasts there,is, in some of its imaginings, a secret to the heart nearest it!Something of the awfulness, even of Death itself, is referable tothis. No more can I turn the leaves of this dear book that I loved,and vainly hope in time to read it all. No more can I look into thedepths of this unfathomable water, wherein, as momentary lightsglanced into it, I have had glimpses of buried treasure and otherthings submerged. It was appointed that the book should shut witha spring, for ever and for ever, when I had read but a page. It wasappointed that the water should be locked in an eternal frost, whenthe light was playing on its surface, and I stood in ignorance on theshore. My friend is dead, my neighbour is dead, my love, the darlingof my soul, is dead; it is the inexorable consolidation andperpetuation of the secret that was always in that individuality,and which I shall carry in mine to my life's end. In any of theburial-places of this city through which I pass, is there a sleepermore inscrutable than its busy inhabitants are, in their innermostpersonality, to me, or than I am to them? .."

birthday - an event

I started a painting and it is turning out be good. I am hesitant to touch it; I should plan and then stroke.

This morning I spoke to my mom and for the first time she had forgotten my birthday:-). She sounded apologetic.

Long drive, coffee breaks…
I like driving, dozing on the wheels and coffee breaks at highway service stations. So today, I drive to Connecticut from New York to see Jeanne. It was a lovely cloudy, rainy day; and I saw fog on mountain tips and enjoyed 300mile drive.

Jeanne greeted me saying “Am I dreaming?” She no more has to thrust the food which did not enjoy; she is being artificially fed. Medically is in critical state. She has very nice view in her window but she can not turn her head in any direction, nor she can roll her body. I should visit her more often; unfortunately I may not have to make many trips.

I and Ray had an inexpensive dinner at Mexican Takeout. Then we tried solve Lebanon & Israel crisis :-)

culture/religion a symbiotic sin?

My friend says culture is symbiotic, this is indisputable and but I think there are men who have overcome this. Overcoming this can be a virtue and at times could be a tragedy.

You can be cultural/religious, nothing wrong in it. But sometimes culture touches the sacred things and gets too close to the heart. You know how ugly those finger-prints on your eye glasses can be: culture could be as bad/out-of-place as them when seen at wrong place.

my bitter experience with culture/religion has lead me to believe that culture/religion are a symbiotic sin

a stripper does not take culture in to account

"..a stripper does not take culture in to account.." My friend's words are ironic. When I coming out of the gym, I was thinking about the role of culture in the establishing grave boundaries inthe name of diversity.

It is sad, Culture/religion have tainted everything, civilization has tought us how to conceal it.

martin L Gore "By This River"

Sounds like a voice in a dark night. I could not understand the complete meaning except for the last stanza. According to my groping sense it's a about intimate friends separated by a chasm. One is talking like a distant stranger and the other is responding with the equal amount of impersonality.

Martin L Gore "By This River"
Here we are
Stuck by this river,
You and i
Underneath a sky that’s ever falling down, down, down
Ever falling down

Through the day
As if on an ocean
Waiting here,
Always failing to remember why we came, came, came:
I wonder why we came

You talk to me
As if from a distance
And I reply
With impressions chosen from another time, time, time,
From another time


ice shop is open
I am stabbing myself
ice shop got shut
I am lacerating myself
ice shop is resuming
I am poking myself
in a spare time

"NUCULAR" now, a recognized pronunciation

As you know G Bush pronounces NUCLEAR as NUCULAR
Webster dictionary has accepted in NUCLAR as one of the valid pronounciation.
Here are sample pranounciations from Webster dictionary

Bush's Nucular

Rest of the world's Nuclear

This is what Webseter's dictionary says about NUCLAR
usage Though disapproved of by many, pronunciations ending in \-ky&-l&r\ have been found in widespread use among educated speakers including scientists, lawyers, professors, congressmen, U.S. cabinet members, and at least one U.S. president and one vice president. While most common in the U.S., these pronunciations have also been heard from British and Canadian speakers.....

Dictionary definition

I am using this incident to demonstrate how flexible & accommodating English language is. I am not trying mock at the pronunciation.

WinXP in Kannada language

WinXP in Kannada language

poem - misshapen moon

misshapen moon
me still an odd crescent
on a land bitter tonight

let me hide in the shade
let the light make me fade

Yesterday, to my drowsy eyes, moon looked shabby and out of that usual sweet dolly shape. It was cloudy and gave moon a place to hide his face. Occasionally, we too search for cloud.

life of creativity

Cloud is a creative produce; sky, as long as it's alive, is going to purse this natural creative routine. We people need not have to fear the end creativity.

"Austria", Iran of west?

David Irving, prosecuted by Austrian court for denying Holocaust

Its unbelievable..
How can someone be prosecuted for his opinion?
Its suck bloody, fu*** law..

Does US should prosecute person who denies 9/11 ?

Its so shocking....
Austrians do not have any moral right to blame mulsims for protesting against Mohammud's cartoon.

poem "invincible winter tree"

invincible winter tree

you are so fine
indivisible by eyes
elude even the snow grains

you have an unique
signature, made of twigs
scribbled on gray space

your naked flame
dodges the cold air and
kept you warm enought to live

your web is incomprehensible
to my infinite mind and
untracable by trembling brush

poem by MS sufferer

I found this intense poem by accident.


I was looking for an open source MP3 encoder library so that I can make my own MP3 files.
If anybody is interested in writing an s/w application for making they can use this LAME library.

If you are curios about MP3 patents too…

Is .Net slower? a nice article

I wanted to know how managed C++ works in .Net environment. While doing this research I found some usefull articles.

Writing Faster Managed Code: Know What Things Cost

free speech: "holier" than "godS".

I think Danish paper did not do anything wrong by publishing Prophet Muhammad's cortoon. Some muslism followers might have felt hurt; but freedom of expression is the holiest thing.

I think all the western media including US, AUS should re-publish the cartoon just to uphold the freedom of speech.

In 80', I felt sad when Indian govt banned Salman Rushdie's "Satanic Verses". What more can one expect from a pseudo-democracy?

According to me media should have right to publish article saying
-"Jewish holocaust was a fiction"
-cartoon on Prophet Muhammad

Cartoon itself...

Grizzly man movie

It's a real story of a man who spent months with Grizzly bears.
During this time he shot 100s of hours video of Grizzle bear from a distance too close to be comfortable.
In these videos, you can see him shooting/commenting himself with the help of tripod.
He got killed/eaten by a bear and he is from LongIsland, NY.

Highlights of the movie are

1) Closeups of bears, scenes of bears fighting, etc..
2) Why he preferred bears for human society?
What made him to isolate himself from society for seasons and live in mountains?

logo for my site.

I have been working on my site and was forced to create a logo. Here is the concept behind logo.

It's well known that painting can 'talk'; agreed it can not change the day today reality. Photographs speak too, but they are not fluent, like a stammerer. On the other hand, painting has more flexible tongue. I tried to represent 'images-expressions' in the logo.


Making of logo...
I wanted my logo to have
1) Photography:- Mountain shown in the logo is a photograph/image.

2) Painting:- floating cloud is a painting. Lips seem to assert "I am a better communicator"

3) Human:- Again, floating cloud represents human with it's flesh color, nerves and lips.

4) Nature:- Mountain, trees....

Logo is a merge of a painting & photograph.

Telling stories

Recently I woke up to this meaningfull song; singer's voice makes it sound real too. I think song is saying the following....Our eyes/ears see observe events and there will be many gaps between these events. When we start intrepreting them, either the next day or 10 year later, we fill in these gaps with exciting assumptions. I think we do this to make our life more interesting..

Here is good example....
Take a case of man in unreciprocated love with "Y". Assume he is also a wishful thinker. There is chance that he may read in between the lines and misinterpret "Y"'s spoken and written words. Thus he may makeup a story and even write it in his dairy but the fact the remains that his love is unreciprocated.

Why "..less mundane..."?
This means he did all this misinterpretation for the sake of excitement. I think this is a both cynical and hopless view of his unreciprocated love.

I think best lines of this song are....
You will do and say anything
To make your everyday life
Seem less mundane....

Complete lyrics ~~~~ Telling stories-Tracy Chapman
There is fiction in the space between
The lines on your page of memories
Write it down but it doesn’t mean
You’re not just telling stories
There is fiction in the space between
You and me

There is fiction in the space between
You and reality
You will do and say anything
To make your everyday life
Seem less mundane
There is fiction in the space between
You and me

There’s a science fiction in the space between
You and me
A fabrication of a grand scheme
Where I am the scary monster
I eat the city and as I leave the scene
In my spaceship I am laughing
In your remembrance of your bad dream
There’s no one but you standing

Leave the pity and the blame
For the ones who do not speak
You write the words to get respect and compassion
And for posterity
You write the words and make believe
There is truth in the space between

There is fiction in the space between
You and everybody
Give us all what we need
Give us one more sad sordid story
But in the fiction of the space between
Sometimes a lie is the best thing
Sometimes a lie is the best thing

tell whom?

Effect of loosing something that you never had is worst because you can not even tell anybody..l